Conversations with God

I saw this old piano and hymn book and thought of my Great Sustainer.

ME: When will this man ask me to marry him?

GOD: You both are sheep but are longing to find your way home. I am your Shephard…come back to me and make this covenant as three.

ME: God, please save our baby….don’t let me miscarry.

GOD: My child, let the little one come to me, for such belongs the kingdom of God. Your baby is safe in my arms. You will see him again one day.

ME: God, please give us means to be missionaries in Brazil. We know the harvest is great and the workers are few.

GOD: My child, look right outside your front door. There is a field waiting to be sown. Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. People from everywhere, including your neighbors, need to meet me.

ME: God, let me be a stay at home mom. I want to be with my children.

GOD: Child, students may not be your children, but they are My children. I’ve placed you there for reasons that are important. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me.

ME: God, please help my husband get a raise at work. He is such a hard worker and we really need the money.

GOD: Child, have faith that I will provide for you and your family. Seek first My kingdom and My righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

ME: God, please help me feel renewed; my spirit feels anxious with these everyday life worries.

GOD: Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Come find your rest in me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

ME: God, I love you.

GOD: Shawna, I love you.

Yes, God knows me by name.

Many times in life I do not understand why things happen or why they don’t; not only in my personal life, but in the circumstances of other peoples’ lives as well. Sometimes even in the lives of people I’ve never met. Many times I ask God why certain things happen or wonder what He is up to in a particular situation. Sometimes I get an answer that meets my heart’s desire, while other times I don’t like the answer at all. But all in all I know that every moment in time was laid out before a single day had passed. His ways are not always our ways, but His ways are right and just.

In His Name & All His Glory,

Shawna

Little Jack

Little Jack, at least that's the nickname Jackson has gotten from his Daddy and Grandad. Jackson's Grandad, my dad, has always been called Big Jack. Sometimes we call him LJ but I still usually call him Jackson. So now we have MG and LJ...that is too funny.

Happy 3 month old birthday to my baby boy! The last three months have been a whirlwind of excitement. Jackson has grown so much since his 1 month checkup. He doesn't go back to the doctor until 4 months so I will update more stats then, but I do know that he already weighs 15 pounds! Not bad, not bad at all. :-)  Jackson is getting so strong these days, he can stand up for a good 5 minutes now. He coos a lot, especially in the evening times, and he is a big smiler. We had his reflux prescription increased a little over a month ago and instantly saw an improvement in his mood. He is such a happy baby and sleeps through the night. He has his last feeding around 10:30 pm and usually wakes up for his next feeding around 5:30 am. Our family has already settled into a routine, but are always prepared to roll with the punches or whatever the day may bring.

Here are some stats on Jackson...
Weight: 15 pounds
Clothes: 3-6 months, and occasionally 6-9 months depending on the designer
Words (haha): a lot of cooing, sounds like oonga, mama, and un. So now I'm thinking & hoping 'Momma' will be his first word!
Favorite toy: toy octopus & possibly my hair which he grabs a hold of quite frequently
Favorite Food: Milk of course...We will be trying rice cereal when Jackson is 4 or 5 months old. That is always a fun time. 

Also, just in case you haven't figured this out, we are completely spoiling our baby boy! We are spoiling him with lots of love, hugs, kisses, and snuggles! Big sister Makayla is doing such a wonderful job helping out. Even at such a young age she is very motherly towards Jackson. It's wonderful seeing that bond develop. I will leave you with some more super cute pics of baby Jackson.

Jackson & MG

Never enough snuggles...I could snuggle with LJ every hour!

Seriously I think he is already teething.

Just cuddling on the couch with my sweet boy

My Cup Overflows

a letter to my heavenly Father….

Dear Father,

I do not deserve this mercy, but my Lord you decided so. Jesus, you have made a place for me. My cup overflows. You seek me today and tomorrow. Your love never fails. You have never forsaken me. I’ve felt your healing power. You chose me. You rescued me. Now let me lift my hands in prayer and thanksgiving. Let me bow my head for your mercy and grace have fallen upon me and I am in complete awe of You. Thank you, Jesus, for walking with me everyday.

Your Child,

Shawna

Were You There?

Were you there when they crucified my Lord
Were you there when they crucified my Lord
Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble
Were you there when they crucified my Lord

And were you there when they laid Him in the tomb
Were you there when they laid His precious body in the tomb
Sometimes it causes me to tremble, I cry and I tremble
Were you there when they laid Him in the tomb

Were you there when He rose from the grave
Were you there when my Jesus rose from the grave
Sometimes it makes me want to shout
And I cry and I begin to tremble, I tremble
Were you there when He rose from the grave

For This Child I Prayed

Through all the late night feedings, sleepless nights, temper-tantrums, crying, whining, jealousy, sicknesses, middle of the night trips to the emergency room, poopy diapers, and days without showering because I haven’t had the time or energy…there are…late night snuggles, comforting during a bad dream, hugs, kisses, smiles, giggles, handprints, heartprints, bonding, gazing in each others eyes, sharing, reading books, dancing, laughing, many “firsts”, shopping together, singing, and making a million other wonderful memories that will last a life time. I am truly blessed and so happy to be a mom.

For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.
~ 1 Samuel 1:27 from NKJV

Shawna

I'm still "Mrs. Finstad"

I had not heard “Mrs. Finstad” in several weeks so I was a little nervous about going back to work. It’s so funny how the moment I stepped back into my classroom it seemed like I never left. My students welcomed me back with smiles, hugs, and many hand-made cards. Kids are absolutely precious! I know there must be a greater reason I am a teacher…maybe, just maybe it’s to touch the life of at least one child. And if I mean something to just that one child that needs me in their life at the given moment, and that’s where God has kept me, then it’s worth it.

Here is one of the notes from a child...very sweet.

God Bless,

Shawna

Jackson’s Giggles

Those late night and early morning feeding times don’t seem as tiring when Jackson looks up at me and smiles. His smiles and giggles are completely contagious. At 5 ½ weeks of age baby Jackson had his first giggle! Jackson’s giggle is the sweetest sound, and the sound of his coos are just as sweet. I love seeing him grow and learn knew things. I cannot stop thinking what a blessing this baby boy is. I can’t wait to hear him say his first word, take his first steps, blow me a kiss, and say “I love you Mommy”. But until then I will keep this little baby boy all wrapped up in my arms and sing to him lullabies.

Thank you God, for my son.

Shawna

Monday Morning

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been 7 weeks since Jackson was born. Really, it seems like yesterday that Tim and I were driving on the snowy roads on the way to the hospital getting ready to meet our son. And here we are 7 weeks later and life is feeling very good. However, at this very moment I sit here at 4 A.M thinking about going back to work tomorrow leaving my 7 week old baby. You see, I know Makayla will be just fine because she absolutely adores her Nana but it’s going to really be hard to leave Jackson tomorrow…he is still so very young and a mom’s heart says to be with your child (well at least mine does). Tim and I have spent some time praying about the possibility of me staying home but the door just didn’t open and I still need to find peace with that. No one knows their children the way a mother and father do. No one knows my kids, Makayla and Jackson, the way Tim and I do. We have gotten on a routine, I’ve settled into my role as a mom of 2, and I really like it (even on the hard days I wouldn’t change it for anything!). My first prayer is that Makayla and Jackson adjust well to these changes over the next few weeks. I am not worried about MG because she knows her Nana very well, but I am a little worried about Jackson. He hasn’t really spent much time with anyone besides me and Tim. But I’m sure he will feel comfortable and loved by his Nana the same way MG does.  My other prayers: My kids will still feel my love even when I’m not with them, I will have strength to get through the first day without crying in front of anyone at work (especially my students), Tim and I will adjust well to me going back to work, I will have the energy I need to do all the things required of me at home and at work, and that I will feel rested and not stressed. So on Monday morning I will be counting down the days until summer vacation when I can be home with my children again.

Shawna

Sweet as Sweet Can Be

I came across this poem that says exactly I feel about my sweet girl Makayla. This is to MG.

Growing so beautifully inside & out...you have a heart of gold

An Angel Left Her Wings

I have this little angel. For me she left her wings.
She has no idea how much happiness she truly brings.
She brightens up my days with her smiles and her laughs.
She helps me to remember all the blessings that I have.

Her face, it is so perfect, she's sweet and soft and pure.
Sometimes she can be willful and sometimes she is demure.
She tries her very hardest to please and do what's right.
She gives the greatest hugs from morning until night.

Every person that has known her sees this light within her soul
I know that in this whole great world, she has a special role.
She's helpful and considerate to everyone she knows
This light in her shines brighter as my angel grows.

When she sees someone is sad, it opens up her heart.
She wants to do all that she can; she wants to do her part.
She'll squeeze away the sorrow and make me forget about my pain.
She shows me where the sun is when we're hiding from the rain.

I know that God must love me, He showed me with His Grace
I knew just how completely when I saw my angel's face.
And in that very moment when she came into my world,
I knew that she was so much more than just my baby girl.

She would be my sunshine, with a sweetness that won't end.
And when she grows up one day she would be my closest friend.
She would be the reason I would always try my best.
For my little angel baby girl would be my greatest test.

When God entrusts to you an angel, who has left her wings for you.
Encircle her with love with everything you do.
Let her know God made her, and that He trusts you with her care.
Be sure to make time for special moments with her to share.

And when at night she finally says her prayers and goes to sleep
I Thank Him for my angel, and ask for him to always keep
A watchful eye and hand to protect her from this world.
Protect my little angel; protect my baby girl.

© Tina M. Marascia

eyes & a smile that light up the room

I love you always Makayla Grace.

Hearts & Hugs,

Mommy

Look Alikes

The other evening I snapped a picture of Jackson in the bathtub. After looking at the photo I swore I had seen that picture before. Well not exactly ‘that’ picture, but one that looked a lot like it. I picked up Makayla’s baby album and began looking through…and there it was….little MG at about 7 weeks old looking a lot like her brother looks now.

A few people have told me that my kids don’t look alike but I will have to differ on that one! I think they certainly look alike! 

Toodles,

Shawna